My 2 cents on life: 12/01/2004

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Samy Jokes

Samy 1:

When Samy Vellu completed 25 years of his role as a politician over M'sia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it.

He so instructed the Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious.

He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Vellu.

He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

*********************************************************************

Samy 2:
General Musharaf, Samy Vellu, Mahathir and Gloria Arroyo are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Arroyo and Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed.

Samy Vellu is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Musharraf is thinking: "These Malaysians are all crazy after Arroyo. Samy must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him."

Arroyo is thinking: "Samy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Musharraf instead and got slapped."

Samy is thinking: "Damn it, Musharaf must have tried to kiss Arroyo, she thought it was me and slapped me."

Mahathir is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Samy again.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Another funny friendster profile

Not as funny as the previous profiles.

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=14664145

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Alexander Miniquiz

Beng & Ozee's Gay Trivia Presents
Alexander Miniquiz - Sponsored by Touch N' Go

1. Why did Alexander dispise his father, King Phillip?
a) He did not treat him and his mother with respect
b) He was a drunkard and a womaniser
c) He didn't see 'eye-to-eye' with Alexander (!)

2. Who was Alexander's most loyal friend?
a) Hephaiston, his General and bedpartner
b) His Asian bride, for giving him sound advice
c) Ptolemy, for telling people he was a great leader rather than a pervert homosexual

3. Who's vision was it to conquer the world, but failed in the end?
a) Queen Olympia
b) Alexander
c) Oliver Stone

4. Who did Alexander announce as his successor?
a) No one
b) Hephaiston
c) He left it for the voters of known world, including Ohio

5. Which was the best fight scene in the movie?
a) Alexander's army VS the Persian army
b) Alexander's army VS the Indian army
c) Alexander's army VS a bunch of monkeys.

6. What is the gayiest thing about the movie?
a) Every time Alexander expresses his feelings towards Hephaiston.
b) The scene where Alexander kisses the indian slave.
c) That people actually paid money to watch such rubbish.

7. Who is most disappointed with the movie?
a) The movie goers. They expected a war movie but instead they got a faggot movie.
b) Oliver Stone. He wanted to do a masterpiece but instead he did a piece of shit.
c) Alexander himself. If he could, he would come out from the grave and hunt Oliver Stone for potraying him as a faggot. Heck, if anyone says that I'm a faggot, I'll cut their balls, fry them and feed them to my cats.

8. Who is King Phillip?
a) He is the male who fathered Alexander.
b) He is the one eyed king who is played by actor Val Kilmer.
c) He is "King Formerly Known as Batman Forever" - KFKBF

9. What did Alexander hope for during his travels to Asia?
a) For the East and West to unite under one rule
b) To have convincing victories over the Asian armies
c) To bang one of those guy dancers

10. Why did Alexander marry an Asian bride?
a) He wanted to strengthen his diplomatic ties with the Asians
b) He has long wanted to settle down in Asia
c) He initially thought she was a guy

11. 'Alexander the _____ '
a) Great
b) Flamboyant
c) movie - sucks.

12. What was Alexander thinking when Hephaiston died?
a) That he had lost a great general and a wonderful friend.
b) That he will miss Hephaiston’s companionship.
c) That he won’t be getting great sex anymore.

13. Why was Alexander’s mother angry with him when he married an Asian?
a) It was disrespectful to the Macedonian people, as they wanted their queen to be one of their own.
b) Queen Olimpia wanted Alexander to marry the bride of her choosing.
c) The marriage proves that Alexander was not only gay but a bisexual.

14. Who killed Alexander?
a) The Indian army who was riding an elephant.
b) His soldier and generals who wanted to take over his throne.
c) Oliver Stone.

EPILOGUE: there's only THAT much ghey jokes we can take (or make!)